The Art of Rest
We’ve found ourselves as a society existing in a time where burnout rates and exhaustion are ever increasing. The average burnout rate is around 50% for the typical working adult, but that rate of course goes up with more demanding jobs such as the healthcare field. Honestly, 50% seems a bit low. So many people are finding themselves pouring everything they have into their work to keep up with the demand, leaving them absolutely depleted to deeply and intentionally care for themselves or their families in their personal lives.
The same could be said for stay at home parents. We have become an increasingly isolated society- the concept of village and close community support being a distant thing of the past for most families. This isolation is leaving parents with complete exhaustion, loneliness, lack of sense of self, loss of identity outside of parenthood, and so on. This feels like a whole other topic for a deep dive at another time.
In a season of deep overwhelm and exhaustion, it’s an invitation toward intentional rest. Not the passive recovery of “I’m checking out and just scrolling my phone for hours” kind of rest (psst- that’s not rest, just avoidance and dissociation), but the true form of rest that feels replenishing, renewing, and revitalizing.
Before we dive into true forms of rest, let’s have a little chat about passive recovery. We all do it in some form– so, no shaming here… just an invitation to practice self awareness and make a little shift. When we’re feeling so exhausted, it’s tempting to reach for things that disconnect us, provide a numbing of sorts, allow us to dissociate from the present experience, and to just totally “check out” from life for a while. Some examples may look like:
Doom scrolling on your phone for hours on end (check your screen time stats, friend!)
Binge watching movies or TV show series
Engaging in substance use like drinking or using drugs
Sleeping excessively or napping often
Mindlessly eating “feel good” foods
Excessive shopping or spending
These behaviors might serve as a temporary distraction from the depletion you are consumed by, but ultimately, they are not replenishing your energy levels, nourishing your nervous system, or restoring and expanding your capacity.
Let’s take a look at deep, intentional rest—
Dr. Saundra Dalton Smith introduced the concept of the seven types of rest, with the idea that if we feel exhausted after rest, we’ve probably missed one of the components. I’m not completely sold on the idea that we need to have a balanced approach with the seven types of rest each time we rest in order to feel restored. I do recognize there is an intimate relationship between each form of rest - none are truly in their own isolated compartment. However, we may find ourselves in need of greater emphasis on one of the types from time to time.
The seven types of rest:
Mental
Physical
Emotional
Sensory
Creative
Social
Spiritual
I’ve always felt like “sexual” rest should be added to this list. I suppose it could be included in any one of the seven types of rest, as intimacy (not just the act of sex) involves creativity, social elements, spiritual components, is very sensory-oriented, and so on. However, I feel like sexual rest is a unique form that requires its very own category.
Here are some ideas on integrating intentional rest into your life in all eight categories—
Mental Rest
Constant thinking, decision-making, and problem-solving can exhaust the mind. Mental rest involves setting boundaries around information intake, practicing mindfulness, and creating moments of stillness to quiet the mental noise. Sometimes it can be helpful to not turn on the podcast, put away your phone, and to just take a break from learning and thinking heavily about everything.
Emotional Rest
Carrying unprocessed emotions or constantly supporting others can be draining. Emotional rest includes expressing feelings in a safe space or with trusted people, setting boundaries, and allowing yourself to feel without judgment.
Physical Rest
True physical rest goes beyond sleep; it includes active recovery like stretching, gentle movement (walking is great!), and deep breathing to release tension and restore energy. It also means honoring when your body needs stillness.
Sensory Rest
Our nervous system is constantly processing stimuli from screens, noise, and bright lights. Sensory rest means taking breaks from overstimulation, unplugging from devices, and spending time in quiet, soothing environments. Consider turning your lights down after sunset, lighting some candles or turning on soft lit lamps.
Creative Rest
Creativity thrives on inspiration, not just effort. Creative rest involves exposing yourself to beauty, nature, music, or art without the pressure to produce, allowing your mind to recharge and spark new ideas. Sometimes creative rest can look like taking on new creative endeavors for no one else but you- working on a project simply for pleasure without the pressure of sharing the final product with others.
Social Rest
Being around people can be energizing or draining, depending on the context. Social rest is about recognizing which relationships deplete you and prioritizing interactions that feel nourishing and supportive. Sometimes, social rest may look like spending time in solitude (very intentionally) to recharge your social battery- just take care to not slip into social isolation.
Spiritual Rest
A sense of purpose and connection to something greater brings inner peace. Spiritual rest can involve prayer, meditation, time in nature, or engaging in practices that align with your core values and beliefs.
Sexual Rest
True sexual rest isn’t about avoidance but about tuning into your body’s needs. It involves creating safety, emotional connection, and honoring when you need rest versus when you need intimacy.
I’m a big believer in small, sustainable change. It’s not necessary to make these big, monumental changes in how you seek rest and rejuvenation… In fact, big acts of “rest” may actually end up being more draining than revitalizing. Consider ways you can create these little pockets of rest throughout your day. Rest is going to look very different for the person who works full time and comes home to a house full of kids and a spouse who are all dying for your love and attention compared to the single person who works part time at best and comes home to a quiet apartment. Of course, there are endless scenarios you may find yourself in, but what’s most important is to consider the context of your own life and find what works best for you.
You may find yourself feeling resistant to rest or some underlying feeling of guilt or unworthiness. In a culture where “hustle” and “do more, be more” is promoted and celebrated, it can be easy to fall into the trap of staying busy and continuing to produce and accomplish for the sake of external (or internal) validation, or perhaps for a sense of self worth (e.g., “I’m worthless if I don’t stay busy and keep producing”). For others, the resistance may be wrapped up in feeling a massive sense of unease in the pause. When you’re used to always being on the go, carving out moments of rest and stillness can feel quite uncomfortable and may also draw attention to some of those emotions or physical sensations that you have been trying to drown out by packing your schedule full. These barriers to rest are important to create awareness of– Without awareness, you’ll continue in the same exhausting patterns that are perpetuating your burnout and depletion.
Take some time to consider these reflections:
What beliefs do you have about rest? Where do you think these beliefs developed? Are they your own or did you adopt them from someone?
Do you feel resistant or guilty about rest? Describe how this resistance shows up for you (thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc.).
What are your default methods of passive recovery? How can you begin to let go of these patterns and step into more intention rest?
What are your favorite forms of intentional rest? How can you begin to create pockets of rest throughout your day?
If this resonates and you’re looking for support, I’d love to connect! Check out The Embodied Method Workbook for a comprehensive and sustainable approach to nervous system care.
